Hi folks. Digital communication has its challenges. I started this blog a few days ago and have had a few 'likes' via facebook and at the same time I have no idea at all who is interacting with it, who has found it useful, inspiring or engaging. What that has brought up for me is how I need, crave, feedback. Maybe this is a form of insecurity, or maybe it is a natural part of being human and integral to all real human engagement. When I made the videos, I was struck by how different it was singing and speaking into a mobile phone, on my own, compared to communicating with people in a workshop. I realised how the physical presence and energy of other people draws something out of me, engages me, and almost automatically pulls the best of myself out when I am that context of offering a workshop or being in service to the people in front of me. I love it. Now all of us workshop leaders, yoga teachers, singing teachers, choir leaders, etc etc are suddenly plunged into a new context. Lots of people are already embracing the digital and offering their gems online, via Zoom, or Skype, or like myself, making videos and blogs.
In the last couple of days I became aware of my inner rebel. I feel I am lagging behind the tsunami of change that is washing over us. I am very aware of the voices urging us to follow government advice, and at the same time I am screaming inwardly - Boris and the mainstream medical profession have never been my guiding lights, my sources of truth, my inspirations. Consensus reality has a strong power. I don't think of myself as a rebel. To me, it implies taking a stand in reaction to something, to a status quo. I would rather choose my own path and beliefs independent of reacting against anyone. Yet here I am, feeling like a stroppy teenager saying NO,
I don't want to give up my face to face workshops, my interactions, my singing with people. I know I can jump though the zoom and Skype and youtube hoops to a certain extent, and at the same time I have a deep question and concern about giving up human connection. And I am someone who spends a lot of time alone - already self isolating. I used to love those stories of pioneers going out and risking everything for their beliefs - those who 'hugged the lepers' without fear of their own life. Now I hear that priests are being told not to go and administer the last rights to dying parishioners. Yoga, dance, pilates, singing, meditation groups and workshops are shutting down all around us. I hear the rational arguments. I am 'on hold' and yet, and yet, I am not able to say truly 'I agree.' Interestingly, I also hear the opinions of old people - those in their 90s saying they don't mind getting the virus - they have lived their life and are happy to go. For some, death is not the worst outcome. What will be the damage caused by isolation?
Well, these musings took a bit of a different tack than the one I had thought they would take. I was going to share about how it is interesting to observe that like many of us, I find myself with swathes of time I wasn't expecting after anticipated events have been cancelled. And I have no shortage of creative and productive tasks and activities I could be doing. Yet I am restless and distracted - unable or unwilling to make use of this gift of time. I still remember the words of St Augustine - 'I do the things I don't want to do, and don't do the things I want to do.' Or words to that effect.
If you have got as far as the end of this blog, it would be fabulous to have you make a comment - if just to say - food for thought - or to share you own musings. .